Background: abt. 1544 BC
After Joseph’s brothers sold him to the Ishmaelities (Gen. 37) he was bought as a slave by an Egyptian named Potiphar who took him to Egypt. The Lord was with Joseph and when Potiphar saw that the Lord prospered everything that Joseph did he “found grace in his sight” (Gen. 39:4). Consequently Potiphar made Joseph the overseer (head servant) of his entire household and gave him complete control of his finances, so much that Potiphar, “Knew not ought he had, save the bread which he did eat” (Gen. 39:6). Potiphar and all his household were blessed for Joseph’s sake.
Facts About Her:
- She was the wife of Potiphar who was the, “officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard” (Gen. 39:1);
- After Potiphar put Joseph in charge of his entire household she saw that Joseph was “a goodly person, and well favored”, meaning that he was talented and good looking. She “cast her eyes upon Joseph” and asked him to lie with her (Gen 39: 7);
- Joseph refused her explaining that her husband had trusted him with the care of his whole household and had given him access to anything he wanted, except for her because she was his Master’s wife (Gen. 39: 8-9). Even so Joseph didn’t refuse her on Potiphars’ behalf but because he served a high master, he asked her, “…how then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God? (Gen. 39: 9)“
- Even after this she continued to solicit advances from Joseph and “…she spake to Joseph day by day” yet, “…he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her “ (Gen. 39:10).
- One day, when all of the other men of the house were out except for Joseph, she caught him by his garment and again begged him to lie with her her. To escape from her Joseph had to leave his garment in her hand and flee from the house (Gen. 39: 11-12).
- When Potiphar’s wife saw that he had fled, but that she still had his garment in her hand, she called all the men of the house and tried to frame Joseph for attempted rape saying, “See…. he came in unto me to
lie with me, and I cried with a loud voice. And
it came to pass, when he heard that I lifted up my voice and cried,
that he left his garment with me, and fled, and got him out” (Gen. 39:14-15).
- She “laid up his garment by her” until Potiphar got home and told him the same story of how Joseph attempted to rape her while all the men of the house were out. When Potiphar heard her story “his wrath was kindled” and he took Joseph and put him into the prison where the King’s prisoners were kept (Gen. 39: 19-20).
Speculations About Her:
- Some have speculated that Potiphar may have been an eunuch (a castrated man) because the Hebrew word (“cariyc”) which is translated as “officer” of Pharaoh can also be translated as “eunuch”. Traditionally eunuchs were used (or made) in order to protect the sexual purity of a king’s harem or family. Yet, scholars have agreed that the use of this word does not necessarily indicate that the man was castrated but that could be used in a general way to describe someone who was a high official in the King’s court. In the Bible the word “cariyc” is translated as “officer” or “chamberlain” 13 times and translated as “eunuch” 17 times (source). Seeing that Potiphar was married it is likely that he was not a “real” eunuch, but that this word was used to describe his high rank. Though it is always possible that he was.
- It appears that Potiphar may not have fully believed his wife’s story because it appears that Joseph received a very light punishment, considering the charge. In “Women’s Rights in the Old Testament” James A. Baker writes,
“Even with our limited understanding of Egyptian law, this seems like
light punishment for attempted rape of the wife of a high-ranking
official of the Egyptian government. An instructive Egyptian folk tale
from the thirteenth century B.C., about two or three hundred years after
Joseph’s period, concerns two brothers, Anubis and Bata. Anubis was
married, and Bata came to work for him on his farm. One day as they were
out planting in the field, Anubis sent Bata to the house to get more
seed. Not wishing to make more than one trip, Bata took a huge load.
Anubis’s wife admired his physical strength and suggested he spend an
hour in bed with her. Appalled, Bata told her never to say such a thing
again and he would not mention anything about it.The unnamed angry wife ingested some fat and grease to make herself
sick and to look as if she had been beaten. When her husband came home,
she told him that Bata had propositioned her and that when she had
refused he had beaten her so she would not tell. She asked him to kill
Bata so that he would not try to rape her again. Anubis was enraged and
waited in ambush at the shed for Bata. As Bata brought the cows into the
shed, the animals warned him of Anubis’s intent, and Bata was able to
escape.After a long chase Bata and Anubis talked at a distance. Bata
convinced Anubis of his innocence, and Anubis after returning home slew
his wife and threw her body to the dogs. If this story embodies any accepted Egyptian legal principle, [p.122]death may have been the penalty for attempted rape.
Perhaps Potiphar was less than convinced by his wife’s evidence. In the
biblical story, Joseph eventually rises to become chief minister of
Egypt, but the wife of Potiphar is not heard from again.” Source
My Thoughts:
Until several months ago I hadn’t given much attention to the story of Potiphar’s wife. Honestly, most of what I knew about her story I had learned from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical, “Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat”. Remember…
He could have to tell he that she still
Was his
Joseph’s looks and handsome figure
Had attracted her attention
Every morning she would beckon
Come and lie with me love
Joseph wanted to resist her,
Till one day she proved too eager
Joseph cried in vain
Please stop
I don’t believe in free love
 |
| Poor Joseph didn’t stand a chance, right? |
It had never really dawned on me that there might be something to learn from the story of a woman who was vilified as a sexually promiscuous “man-eater.” Then one day for my scripture study I randomly opened up to Genesis 39 and as I read the story of Potiphar’s wife I saw her story with new eyes.
Genesis 39 is almost always taught from Joseph’s perspective and is used as
an example of how to flee from sexual sin. I think that this is an important aspect of the story and I agree that Joseph should be upheld as a worthy example. Yet, I think that understanding the story–tragedy, really– of Potiphar’s wife is an equally important story and one that has powerful lessons for youth and adults.
As I have studied the story of Potiphar’s wife the less I think that she was the promiscuous sexual predator that she is often made out to be. What I see is a bored, lonely rich woman whose life was not everything she had dreamed it would be. Perhaps her marriage
with Potiphar was unhappy, perhaps she lacked intellectual stimulation, perhaps she was far from home and family, perhaps she felt unwanted or undervalued. Perhaps Potiphar really was an eunuch and she lacked intimacy and the possibility for children. There are hundreds of reasons why she began– perhaps even unknowingly– to “cast
her eyes” (Gen. 39:7)around in search of something else. It just so happened that her eyes fell upon Joseph– young, handsome, talented, honest, smart, loyal, and blessed by the Lord. One can only imagine that she must have compared him to Potiphar and saw in Joseph all the things she felt her marriage and life were lacking.
I think that when you closely study the story of Potiphar’s wife and
Joseph it becomes apparent that her desire and passion for Joseph was
something that was built over time. I don’t think she saw Joseph and a
few days later was chasing him around trying to get him into bed with
her. No, the story suggests that she and Joseph knew each other well and
that she had allowed an emotional intimacy to build between them– way before she ever asked Joseph to be with her.
Consider the manner in which Joseph rejects her initial invitation. The first
time she offers her self to him Joseph does not run away or dismiss her rudely, instead he speaks kindly to her and explains in great depth (by Bible standards) why he can not be with her. He tells her,
“Behold, my master wotteth not what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand; There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife..” Genesis 39:9
aren’t the words of someone who is trying to escape the advances of a
“man-eater” but rather his manner indicates that he cares about her
feelings and wants to treat them with respect. His words sound to me like he is speaking to a friend, and his final phrase to her indicates that she knows him
well enough to understand his heart and his moral beliefs. He says,
“… how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”
It appears that she couldn’t accept this answer. Maybe she was convinced that Joseph cared for her and that if she tried hard enough she could make him choose her over his God, or maybe she was a woman who was use to getting what she wanted and didn’t take no for an answer. Genesis 39:10 tells us that she continued (indicating that she already had been) speaking to Joseph, “…. day by day, [but] that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her.”
The story of Potiphar’s wife is a tragedy. It is a sad example of what happens when a husband or wife allows themselves to “cast their eyes” around. It is rare that fornication or adultery happens quickly, it is often
something that is built slowly and steadily over time. It usually begins
with people becoming emotionally intimate first. In the 2009 Ensign article, “Fidelity in Marriage: It’s More than You Think”, it explains,
“Fidelity
includes refraining from physical contact—but that is not all. Fidelity
also means complete commitment, trust, and respect between husband and
wife… Physical
infidelity is only one of the many temptations Satan uses to break up
families and marriages. Emotional infidelity, which occurs when emotions
and thoughts are focused on someone other than a spouse, is an
insidious threat that can weaken the trust between a couple and shatter
peace of mind. Emotional
infidelity doesn’t usually happen suddenly; rather, it occurs
gradually—often imperceptibly at first. This is one reason why those
involved often feel innocent of any wrongdoing.”
Being unfaithful to your spouse starts with your thoughts. It begins when you start comparing your spouse to someone else, it escalates when you start rationalizing the time you are spending with someone else, and climaxes when you start investing the energy that should go into fixing your marriage into creating a new relationship with someone other than your spouse. As Spencer W. Kimball said,
“There
are those married people who permit their eyes to wander and their
hearts to become vagrant, who think it is not improper to flirt a
little, to share their hearts and have desire for someone other than the
wife or the husband. The Lord says in no uncertain terms: “Thou shalt
love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none
else” (D&C 42:22) And, when the Lord says all
thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving. And, to
the woman it is paraphrased: “Thou shalt love thy husband with all thy heart and shalt cleave unto him and none else.” The words none else
eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent
in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor
occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person
nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse.” (“Faith Precedes the Miracle” (1972), 142–43.)
The story of Potiphar’s wife is just as applicable in our modern world as it was in ancient times. In fact, I think that the opportunity for married people to “cast their eyes” about is even greater now than it has ever been before. Not only do we have multiple opportunities to interact closely with men and women in work, school and church settings but we also have the expanded world of the Internet. “Casting your eyes” about can start with seemingly small interactions, like re-connecting with an old friend or boyfriend on Facebook, confiding your ideas and dreams with an online friend rather than your spouse, or saving up your thoughts to tell to a co-worker who seems to understand you much better. In her article, “Virtual Reality, Actual Risks” the author shares how her marriage and family were destroyed because of her involvement with an online acquaintance. She says,
“I don’t know any [one] who intends to turn a friendship into an extramarital affair. I know I never imagined such devastation. But emotional affairs are affairs, and they damage relationships, even when they don’t involve sexual infidelity… Emotional attachment to someone who is not our spouse makes it
impossible to love our spouse as the Lord commanded. The resulting
heartache and feelings of betrayal are difficult to imagine when such
relationships begin, but they can be devastating.”
In the end, I can’t help but feel sorry for Potiphar’s wife. She had numerous occasions to stop and walk away from the mess she had created, but she couldn’t. She let her appetites and desires rule her spirit and it resulted in tragedy– for Joseph, for her, and for Potiphar.
Learn from her mistakes and be fiercely loyal to your spouse– heart, mind and body.
Questions to Think About:
- How do you think she felt when Joseph ended up in jail? Do you think she felt remorse? How do you imagine she felt when later Joseph became Pharaoh’s advisor and one of the most powerful men in Egypt?
- How can you relate to Potiphar’s wife? Are there people or things in your life that you “cast your eyes” upon that are leading your heart down the wrong path?
- How can helping young men and women understand this story better help them create stronger relationships and be fiercely loyal in marriage?
- How do you think Potihpar’s wife’s actions affected her marriage and her relationship with Potiphar? What could she have done to avoid or escape the situation she put herself in?
Here are articles for additional reading all of which have excellent questions you can ask yourself to evaluate whether or not you are being emotionally faithful to your spouse.
- “Warning Signs of Infedielity” by Veon G. Smith. 1975 Ensign
- “Virtual Reality, Actual Risk” by name withheld. March 2010 Ensign.
- “Fidelity in Marriage: It is More than You Think.” by Kenneth W. Matheson. Sept. 2009 Ensign.
The messages in the media and society about fidelity make it seem boring, trite, old fashioned and Puritan. Modern, free-thinkers go for the thrill, the chase, the catch, the one-night stand, the "feeling" rather than the "doing" of Love. The message is that once those initial butterflies of first dates and kisses have gone, nothing beneficial is left. But it's a lie! Once the relationship matures beyond that point, the real beauty of life is found.
But lasting beauty takes enormous effort and work. Just ask any gardener.
Excellent post, heather. Thank you. i never considered before the responses of Joseph to Potiphar's wife, the kindness at first, etc. Thank you for this reminder to strengthen my marriage and emotional relationship with my husband.
Heather
You can also see this pattern with Alma counseling his son Corianton concerning Isabel:
Alma 39:4 Yea she did steal away the hearts of many; but this was no excuse for thee, my son. Thou should have tended to the ministry wherewith thou wast entrusted.
In Proverbs 7 there is an entire proverb devoted to those women who pattern themselves as adultress's and lay traps for men.
Verses 1-5 is given as a warning and instruction on how to protect against these women.
Prov 7 1:5
1My son, keep my words; lay up within you my commandments [for use when needed] and treasure them.
5 That they may keep you from the loose woman, from the adventuress who flatters with and makes smooth her words.
In Proverbs 7:11-12 she is described as:
11 She is turbulent and willful; her feet stay not in her house;
12 Now in the streets, now in the marketplaces, she sets her ambush at every corner.
She is a stalker; Potiphars wife and Joseph had a relationship, his was one of respect of his boss's wife, her's was one of a liar. Maybe Joseph acted as a missionary to her, maybe trying to teach her of God's plan of salvation. She took advantage of this, because sharing the love of God is an intimate and powerful thing,it is a relationship patterned after marriage.
In Prov 7:13-18 tells of such a woman who maybe tricked an upstanding young man into believing that she wanted to know more about God.
Prov 7:13-16
13 So she caught him and kissed him and with impudent face she said to him,
14 Sacrifices of peace offerings were due from me; this day I paid my vows.
15 So I came forth to meet you [that you might share with me the feast from my offering]; diligently I sought your face, and I have found you.
16 I have spread my couch with rugs and cushions of tapestry, with striped sheets of fine linen of Egypt.
This record is a pattern and a shadow;it was a pattern for Israel,a pattern for us; to warn them/us breaking covenants,of transgressing against God.
It is interesting to note, that the sin of transgressing against God and his commandments,etc is likened unto adultery, promiscuity, etc, and the more drastic records show how the roles of both men and women influence each other.
So I think that Potiphar's wife was is guilty as charged. Potiphar was a young king, when he came to the throne, about 8 years old, so Mrs Potiphar may have been older. The term eunuch is correct for Potiphar because he was the king, and being a child, he was not ready for the marital relationship, his wife obviously was more mature, but was not actively engaged in building a relationship with her husband.
Joseph acted as a "co-regent" with Potiphar, a second in command.When he was thrown in prison,it was to satisfy the law (He is a type of Christ). Potiphar was a like King Darius in the book of Daniel, where he had to throw Daniel in the lions den to satisfy a law. Christ had to die for our sins to satisfy the law. Each one overcame their sentence.
Awesome Heather
I've also often thought with compassion that Potiphar's wife suffered a great tragedy here. Like everything else about the first 2000 years that we have, carefully filtered through Moses' perspective, this story was intended for his people. I love Genesis for its outright unwillingness to make editorial pronouncements, and this is no exception. You can take from this and from all the rest of Genesis whatever lesson you wish, and many lessons and insights there are. Taken as a whole, we see a God who understands the humanity of the people charged with safekeeping his covenants, and it's what makes me love Genesis so much.
I've always wondered a bit if the reason that Joseph left his garment in her keeping is that it had been cast aside for some time that day, that he may not have run immediately, and that when he did it was wrenched from him a bit painfully. I've often wondered if there was a mutual affection which grew naturally from their constant contact with one another, born of understanding based on long-time sharing of their individual stories and senses of loss. I've often wondered if the loneliness of prison was actually a purifying time to help him completely realign with God, to accept finally his fate in Egypt, and to prepare him to lead the nation as serving in Potiphar's house with someone he probably loved deeply never could. It's a distinctly human situation, like the whole of Genesis. I wonder at the compassion and wisdom of Moses. What an amazing man he must have been.
Bonnie,
I agree about the garment idea. I think that the story makes a lot more sense when we think that perhaps Potiphar's wife was not the only one to blame, that Joseph may have also cared for her and come dangerously close to making some big mistakes. At our Mormon women panel on Women in the scriptures Camille Fronk Olsen said that often (not all) when women in the scriptures are villifed it is because we assume that the man (even a prophet) is unfaliable and can make no mistakes. In that case the only way to understand the story is to think that it must have been all the woman's fault. I think that in any case of adultery (even a close call) both parties had to be involved at least to some extent. It is interesting to think of Prison as being a "rescue" to Joseph, taking him out of hard situation and giving him time to get back on track.
The story makes a lot more sense when you read it this way– and it makes it's message about 1000 times more powerful… for both men and women.
I agree about vilifying women to spare a prophet some imperfection. What pressure we subject everyone in that situation to (and ourselves by extension) because we assume that the atonement shouldn't be needed in certain people's lives! And yes, the scriptures read humanely are 1000 times more powerful – imagine that, right? 😀
I really appreciate this more sympathetic reading of the story of Potiphar's wife. It just goes to show that our first reading of scripture – or even the most common interpretation – isn't necessarily the only possible one we can learn from. Thanks for the insights!
I loved your comments Heather. Thanks for the post!! Your words are so very true!!! I come from a home where others had 'cast their eyes' about. It is a true tragedy. Because of the example set for them, my siblings will not even look at the Church of Jesus Christ as having anything of value for them. And because they know not where to find the truth, their homes are all broken as well. It is so very sad and a very necessary lesson for our day and time. It is just as sad for couples who are suffering from a lack of emotional intimacy because of other things…not necessarily people….work, hobbies, buddies, any number of things that Lucifer will use to come between and break up families. If only we could know that repentance can apply there too. Love and feelings can be rekindled. They do not have to stay in an empty place. With the help of the Lord, patience, long-suffering, forgiveness, and continued effort, hearts and relationships can be healed and strengthened!! The same behaviors that break up a marriage, can, if applied to the marriage, strengthen it and rekindle those feelings. Yea for the gospel!!
Carin, good point. You can be unfaithful to a spouse in other ways too, not just with a person. I think that one is more of us are guilty of than we realize 🙂
Starting out reading this, I did not want to agree with your premise, but I did by the end. You are right about wandering thoughts leads to other things.
I've never seen this perspective before and I love it… I was actually asked to talk about this story for a RS lesson last summer. This is what I shared: One thing I noticed this time reading the story of Joseph that I never noticed before was the fact that Potipher’s wife just didn’t come on to Joseph one time and he ran. In verse 10 it says that “she spake to Joseph day by day… to lie by her, or to be with her.” She was persistent! Perhaps if he had told someone about the situation earlier then it wouldn’t have gotten to the point that it did… with Joseph ending up in prison. But in the end he did the right thing and he ran.
Even though Joseph wasn't perfect in the end he chose to do the right thing. It's never too late to do what is right! (Although the consequences might be different…)
I think I have to disagree completely.
Joseph was a righteous man and greatly favored of the Lord. I could not find any reference from any apostle or prophet suggesting otherwise.
It seems that the perspective being suggested here is based on people not understanding how serious chastity in thought and action are to the Lord when it comes to His covenant people.
How often have we witnessed a one sided crush, where the person crushing thinks any kindness or notice is a sign that the object of his/her affection feels the same way?
There is nothing more uncomfortable than unsolicited affection and unrequieted protestations of love–I am sure Joseph, rather than wanting to be friends, was not happy with the situation, but was still kind and civil. It is quite a leap to read something more into it than that.
It would be important to remember in this conversation the story of David and Bathsheba. This is not a mistake or an "oops!". Adultery caused David to lose his promised blessings of exaltation–and flirting with it is no small thing.
I think it is a bit dangerous to project this kind of sinning (because emotional intimacy can be a sin in this case), onto a man who was known for his integrity and purity. I think it is easier for us to justify our own "emotional intimacy" with others of the opposite sex when we are married using this train of thought.
If the missionaries of today are commanded to lock their hearts on their missions, I am sure that no less was expected of Joseph in the position the Lord had called him.
And I am sure that he was true to that.
Potiphar's wife may have had emotional problems, may have been abused, etcetera, and may or may not have been a "man-eater", but that does not really excuse her from ruining a man's reputation, and, possibly being the instrument of his death, if that could have been the sentence.
When I read the scriptures, I find that it is rife with examples of how men ARE infallible–especially when it comes to sexual sin.
I am just really surprised that women who know the scriptures would do something akin to what Potiphar's wife did–tarnish the name of a man of God with innuendo that he somehow contributed to infidelity in a marriage, whether emotional or physical.
Misty, I didn't intend to try to slander Joseph at all. He was an incredible man and prophet. I think it is important to remember that the scriptures don't tell us the whole complete story of what happened– they are only one perspective and so we never really know what the hearts and minds of the people involved in were. Joseph didn't mess up– he dis just exactly what was right. He tried to get out of the situation and couldn't… until he was put in jail. His heart was always in the right place, but he did find himself in a hard situation. One that I am sure he never saw coming. But you are right.. .we don't know for sure his heart and what really happened. I just wanted to offer another way of looking at the story.
I would be interested to know more about what you mean though that the scriptures show that men are infallible. I think that you have to give EVERYONE in the scriptures… even Christ… the ability to be Human and have weaknesses. Christ didn't have sin but even He was Human… and I think it is important to remember people's humanity even as we celebrate their spiritual strength. That is really the powerful part of why we study the scriptures to read about people who are just like us– who have passions and who make mistakes, but who overcome them and do what is right. It shows us how the Lord can take a weak man or woman and refine them into a strong prophet or prophetess of God. Just like our prophets and apostles today– they are men and have the ability to make mistakes and sin– but that they, like Joseph, always chose the Lord. The power of Joseph's story is that he did what was right even when it may have been hard to do.
I don't think that Joseph was ever in any REAL danger. His response to her shows that his heart was in the right place and that is why he runs. It really was a one-sided crush because it is Potiphar's wife who couldn't give it up. But like I said scriptures stories can be read many different ways and I don't think there is always just one "right" interpretation. Kind of like a parable– there are several different lessons that can be learned from them.
Heather, I meant FALLIBLE. I was typing on a cell phone and didn't proofread. I think the scriptures are full of stories of fallible men….esp. with regarding sexuality. Glad you said something, MAJOR typo!
Oh, that makes more sense! I understand, typing on a phone can be perilous 🙂
Heather, this is a great post. I like the way you present Potiphar's wife because it makes it seem so much more real. My husband and I were talking a few months ago about this very thing. A very strong Priesthood leader that he knew ended up having an affair with a another strong LDS woman. The scariest part about it was it had developed over time and my husband could not believe it. It was a shaking story because it wasn't one where anyone "saw it coming". It was the best of people, getting slow caught up in a trap. Instead of blaming or judging the people, it was something that just made us feel sick to our stomachs, knowing that we all need to be ever so careful because it could happen to anyone. We can't lose our guard. The thing that scares me most is that when someone does that, there has to be a point where they consciously decide to remove their protective garments. Thanks for sharing Heather. And for the reminder to always keep our hearts where they should be. More and more I see women getting involved in "casting their eyes". And not always on specific people but by reading books (50 shades of grey for example) and getting involved in unworthy activities.
I read this post an hour after it was posted and has been stuck in my mind ever since. It is so powerful and is especially very meaningful in a week where the media is talking a lot about the Petraeus scandal and infidelity.
Heather
Have you considered a study on Tamar? She was the unfortunate bride of Er, son of Judah, older brother of Joseph. Er died and she married Onan, who also died, and she without a child. She dressed as a prostitute and ultimately lured Judah to lie with her in order to conceive. Its a great story.
Yes! I love love tamar, i have a lot to say about her. I actually have a post started on her that i will hopefully share in the next few months.
Yes! I love love tamar, i have a lot to say about her. I actually have a post started on her that i will hopefully share in the next few months.