On Tuesday one of my friends invited me to go to a “Disney Days” that one of the radio stations was hosting. We thought that there were going to be Disney characters and such, but there wasn’t. We were disappointed but the kids still had fun. Mostly because they had a huge Disney princess bouncy castle to jump in (it looked like this one). Rose wouldn’t go in but Asher really loved it. His second time through Rose and I were watching him jump when all of a sudden the whole castle began to deflate… fast. The top collapsed in, the floor sunk to ground, the walls caved in, and the kids started to scream. The guy running the bouncy house just stared dumbly at it as it sunk to the ground. I started to freak out. I abandoned Abe in the stroller and rushed over to the mesh window that was rapidly sinking to the ground under the weight of the castle. There were about 5 or 6 little kids, including Asher, with their faces pressed up against the mesh screaming. It was awful. I felt so helpless. I tried to lift the window up enough to keep the kids from being squashed by the rest of the castle (man those things are huge!) and tried to calm them down as much as I could. There were terrified kids crawling over inside and I was sure that someone was going to get trampled. And poor little Asher was screaming for me to get him out and I couldn’t do a thing!
It was a bit of nightmare and it re-awoke every nightmare I have ever had about being trapped somewhere with my kids (like in a submerged car) and not being able to get them out. Finally the guy in charge was able to find the crawl hole and get all the kids out of the house safely, but not until the whole castle had totally collapsed to the ground. It was sort of traumatic, for Asher and I. Though much to my amazement he did go back in a few more times after they got it blown back up. I think that He was really proud of himself because he keeps telling me, “Mom, I am really brave.” Much braver than his mom, that is for sure!
One of my dear friends just published the book that she has been working on for the last few years. I know how much work writing a book is and so I am so proud of her! It turned out beautifully. It is called “Wise Childbearing: What You’ll Want to Know as you Make your Birth Choices.”
Full
of information for people of all backgrounds, faiths, needs, and
desires. This book is all about choice. Birth and parenting doesn’t have
to be done in just one cookie-cutter way. No one else is exactly like
you. Why should we all have to do it one way because it is easier for
someone else. It can be your own way! Full of the resources to help you
to intelligently mold your own wishes.
Jennetta is trying to get it to be best seller on Amazon (she is getting impressively close) and so in the next few days she is giving some good incentives to buy her book. One of them is a collection of audio interviews she did with a wide variety of birth and parenting professionals. I was really impressed by the people she interviewed! For some reason she called me and asked to interview me as the “spiritual preparation expert’, which I was happy to pretend to be. I am finding that I kind of like being interviewed… as long as I don’t sound too idiotic. I felt really good about our interview so hopefully it is helpful to someone. My interview is included in the group of audios and so if that isn’t enough of a reason to buy her book I don’t know what is 😉
I had a bit of a break through as a mother last night. Since Abraham has been born I have really been struggling to balance the needs of all my children. I feel like I am constantly bombarded with demands, needs, and problems and that I spend my life is “crisis control” mode. Rose especially has had a hard time with not getting as much attention as she would like– which in all honesty would probably be having everyone’s full attention on her every moment of the day. She is the girl who when we kneel to say family prayers usually announces, “Come, come kneel by the princess.” Anyway, I digress.
While I love my children, it has been really hard for me to enjoy being with them (there I said it, my bad mom confession) and by about 4 o’clock on most days I start questioning the wisdom of my chosen career path. I remember before Abe was born having lots of moments where I was just overcome with a powerful love for Asher and Rose. Yet in the last 7 months I have been really struggling to feel anything except annoyance, frustration, and impatience with them. It has been rough and I have been praying for God to soften my heart and for me to be able truly enjoy them; not just surviving until bedtime. Well the other night, after spending 2 tantrum packed hours trying to get Rose to bed, I finally gave up and let her come out and help me in the kitchen. She helped me cut cherries for our cherry rhubarb jam (which turned out so yummy) and then we laid on her bed and she told me stories about her day.
And as I looked at her my heart just melted to pieces and I felt that powerful love wash over me. It made me want to cry and a little voice reminded me that God loves His children unconditionally. If I want to love like He loves I can’t base my love on what my children do or don’t do. It is my choice to love.
That was a big moment for me and even though today was still crazy (and I made lots of mistakes) I had a heart full of love.
Turns out it really helps in you just laugh more instead of yell more.
Too bad it has taken me so long to figure that out.
I am guessing that someone is going to want my recipe for cherry rhubarb jam and so… just in case you were going to ask.. here it is. I sort of made up my own recipe from ones I found online and the one in the package of pectin. It turned out a bit more runny than normal jam (more like a jelly) but I kind of like it that way. We are planning of having crepes this week and eating it on top of them!
mix cut rhubarb, cherries, and sugar. Cover and let sit on counter for a
couple of hours or until the mixture is syrupy. If you want to let it
sit overnight, store in the refrigerator.
large pot. Add:
down. Cook, stirring frequently until the fruit gets very soft about 10- 15 minutes. Bring to a rolling boil and stir in:
jars 1/2 pint jars leaving a 1/2 inch headspace. Wipe rims clean and
top with a new lid and ring. Process in a boiling water for 10 minutes.
Eat.
Just a reminder about the Book Launch Party for my book “The Gift of Giving Life” this Tuesday, June 26th
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Come and enjoy the connection and love and food at our official but casual book launch party.
From 6:00-9:00 pm in down town Salt Lake
29 S. State Street in Salt Lake
City directly across from the mall.
You can park on the street or at the mall for $1.
Come and go as you please. The authors will do a short presentation and If you feel like meeting us or listening to us tell the birth story of our book, or just eating food with good peeps, come. Children welcome.
I would LOVE to have you come. It should be a lot fun.
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Here's my link, the LInky doesn't like me…LOL:
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That bouncy castle incident would give me nightmares for years. 🙁 What a scary experience! I'm glad kids recover from trauma so easily!
That bouncy castle collapse must have been terrifying – I can't even imagine. I'm so glad everyone got out safely… and hurrah for your Brave Boy!
Dear Heather…you are normal….strike that ….you are exceptional, but we all have days when we find it difficult to really feel love in our job as mother. I can only say it gets easier as you get older…fewer expectations, more resolve and patience, more acceptance and love. I read and reread this article on the hard days: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1997/04/because-she-is-a-mother?lang=eng&query=because+she+mother+%28name%3a%22Jeffrey+R.+Holland%22%29 Elder Holland says it so well!! You are doing a marvelous job and someday your little ones will tell you how amazing you are.